Laughing along the spectrum...

Lesson #1…FIND THE HUMOR

            When it comes to autism and this wild and wonderful journey on the spectrum, humor is your friend and best coping skill.  Lots of humor is best if you can find it because the more you can laugh at it all, the better you will feel.  And, you’ll be surprised to find, there truly is a lot of humor in kids as a whole and in the spectrum as well.  Sometimes the thing I am most thankful for are the eyes through which autism lets my son see the world.  Actually, I guess I am most grateful that my son shares his view and thoughts with me!  His view of the world is outstanding, funny and insightful, and I credit much of his view to his navigation of the spectrum.  I think everyone should share his view of life.  The world would be a better place if each and every person had the chance to see life through his eyes. 

            For a boy who is on the Autism Spectrum and who was diagnosed at 2 ½ with a severe speech impairment, today (at eleven) he surprisingly does communicate well and frequently.  His speech patterns may be a bit choppy at times but that does not deter him.  He observes everything and asks more questions than any child, adult or teen that I have ever known.  Questions are asked constantly by him and he is constantly asking for definitions of words he does not know.  During one thirty minute drive running errands through our little town, these are some of the conversations that took place. 

·         “Look, Mom, palm trees like Beverly Hills.  Isn’t that the place where the popular people live?”

·         “Look, those are great those sky rays.” (the lines planes leave behind in the sky)

·         “These hash-browns are so good, Mom.  They come in circles!”

·         “Look at those clouds.  I am impressed.”

·         “What if Godzilla were as tall as that mountain?”

·         Wyatt: “Mom, can I change the music?” 

Mom: “Why?”

Wyatt: “They’re talking about love. It’s gross.”

Life is a funny, funny place….if you let it be!  Instead of always seeing the mountain ahead of you, take a moment to appreciate the landscape too.  Take a glance over on occasions at the wildflowers, the trees and the crazy squirrels scampering around the mountain.  That is how I try to keep my sanity intact.  Luckily my three children were also amateur comediennes in another life.    They offer up a lot of good material if you listen for it.  That is also one of the upsides of having siblings.  Where there is more chaos, there is more humor.

Yesterday my son asked at what age boys get girlfriends.  I told him not until they are seniors in high school or in college.  I told him some boys even wait until after college.  He told me that he’d heard girls lose their cooties at 13.  I told him boys lose their cooties when they are 78.  I told him that at 78, he might want a girlfriend too.  He assured me he would NOT but I reminded him that she might cook and clean and take care of him.  He asked, “Won’t they have new technology in 2060?”  I said maybe and then asked why.  “If they have new technology, a robot will take care of me.”  I laughed so hard at that boy.  Oh my goodness.  He has it all figured out.  At eleven, he still thinks girls are gross and  I kind of like it that way.

A few weeks ago my boys were talking about what they would do when they grow up.  They both decided, at nine and eleven, there will be no girls allowed.  My oldest decided he would go to college, become a herpetologist (reptile scientist) and would live in his own house.  My youngest decided he would live with his older brother.  The youngest then added in that he thought they should both get some trained reptiles for the house that the girls will not like and that way the gross girls will not bother them.  As Mom, I got quite the giggle out of that one and cannot wait to tell them this story before prom or while their girlfriends are over for Thanksgiving.  One of the greatest joys of motherhood is our memory.

Just remember, humor lives in the oddest of places and you have to keep your eyes open to it.  Life is a funny, funny place.

One note of caution, if you are spending time with children like mine, you better bring your “A” game because there will be a test... of everything you have ever learned throughout your entire life!  I was once asked by one of my children’s teacher if there were some nights when it was all I could do to drag myself into bed.  Yep, three spirited children + one single mom+ spectrum = exhaustion.  I had to agree whole heartedly with her when she asked because some days are tremendously exhausting…mentally, verbally and physically!

            Just remember that even though the journey is a challenge, navigating the spectrum can be sprinkled with so much humor and goodness.  Sometimes all you have to do is open yourself up to it and look. I promise if you do, the stress will be a whole lot easier to manage.